Sept 30

So we all know that I can be a difficult patient but today was a stupid we went to go sign consents and our fertility clinic and no joke a joke 15 minutes to do this I had full sending a consents took maybe two minutes and the woman just got on a saying that wish to come later when you're not busy month do before you open what is the issue and so I'm just extremely frustrated people as Sarah aren't you excited? How the hell my gonna be excited whenever stupid shit keeps happening like this is not ideal for any person OK we're spending so much money every single week therefore our personal line is completely or diminished and then we had to still plan a :-) for work I do and and I feel horrible because I'm just like is is actually worth it and I know it is but I'm just so tired of it all I waiting for someone else waiting for transferred a China wait again the sea were actually pregnant like nothing is real until we hear a heartbeat and even then that first trimester so dangerous that I'm just like what's the point getting excited you know so my husband has four more patience than I do because I get so irritated obviously and I hate saying over and over that you know where it is what it is I just I difficult handling it because I'm irritated irritated that I can give birth to my own kid experience the life of birth because of my health issues i'm irritated that people don't take our time into consideration I mean I work in the clinic I know about about utilizing other peoples time and trying to you know adapt to others people schedules and I just I know I can I want to fucking crawl into a small space and just not move because this is so irritating that. And now I had to my office where… Are you want to get into it because that's it out of stress there so I'm just as tired I'm worn out mentally and emotionally and I want to shut down that would be wonderful