Thursday, December 17, 2020

Week 29 update


Small update and my camera got cut off. Bah!! So unfortunately there is a part two. Enjoy! My part two even got cut off because my phone doesn't have any more memory. #lifeproblems. 


In Summary:

I'm Sara. An independent parent with my husband. We have a gestational surrogate who is prego for us. We are currently 29 weeks pregnant. And I am thrilled!





Wednesday, November 25, 2020

10 years post transplant


 Thought to do an overall health update and give a shout-out to an amazing person in my life. 


Monday, October 31, 2016

Day 10 Post egg retrieval

I haven't been able to write because I've been so tired and zoned to the world. My egg retrieval was Saturday, 10/22/16 at 8:45 AM. Though we had to check in an hour earlier.

The day of the procedure was fine. My right ovary was already very sore due to size and amount of eggs in there. They put me in a side room had me change into a hospital gown with shoe protectors and a hair protector. My husband was able to meet up with me after delivering his specimen. Around the 8:45 hour they wheeled me back to surgery , gave me some gas and injected the anesthesia via my hand IV. I woke up in recovery about an hour after the procedure was complete and my husband was allowed to take me home.

Day 1- other than just feeling very exhausted I felt overall okay. Tired and I rested and slept the majority of the day. They gave me Tylenol #3 initially as my pain medication which I took but I take this on a norm for my migraines.

I was told 16 eggs were taken out at this time.

Instructions: no sex, no bathing, no swimming for two weeks. Rest. Do not over exert oneself.

Day 2- the trooper that I am, I went into work on Sunday. I'm the only one who works that day so hard to get coverage. Mind you, my profession is an adolescent social worker for psychiatric patients inpatient. My mind felt fine but I knew I was drained. I went to work, took my medicine as needed and for the most part I was okay. After work, I went to a friends and napped on the couch.

For PGS testing, I was informed only 8 can be tested of the 16. It's $150 per extra embryo tested.

Day 3- Monday is when things started happening. I went to work again and did what I could. I was able to last the full 8-10 hour day but began feeling a sharp pain in my abdomen. I continued taking my pain medicine as needed.

Day 4 - I went to work and only lasted half the day. My body was very unhappy with me. Walking to and from different buildings made my abdomen hurt severely. My chest began feeling tight and my breathing became irregular. The pain is almost equivalent to a sharp cramp but it doesn't stop, period.

I requested to leave work early because I couldn't function and made a walk in appt with my fertility clinic. They examined me and pulled my blood. The doctor stated that since my ovaries were still enlarged that would cause discomfort and pain. Water was also found during the ultrasound that was making me bloated and added to the discomfort. The pain medication was changed to Tramadol at this point and he added another medication in case I was hyper stimulated.

I went home that Tuesday and rested. Follow up was scheduled for Thursday.

Embryo update: 12/16 were fertilized good.

Day 5- despite doctors recommendations I returned to work on Wednesday. The pain continued and now nausea was an added symptom. I threw up while talking to an ado escent patient and again during a family therapy session. My supervisor had a mlinch meeting with some outside clients and I could barely touch or smell the food. I got ill during that meeting and made the decision to leave slightly after. I informed the doctor and went home to rest after taking my anti nausea medication and pain medication.

Day 6- Thursday! Thankfully I was off this day. I had my follow up in the PM and there continued to be water in my stomach along with ovaries still being inflammated. I rested and took my medicine. At one point this day I believe my dogs jumped on my stomach and the pain shot throughout my body. I literally have to be in a fetal position all day for comfort. The doctor at this point told me not to return to work until the following Tuesday to ensure I am well rested and have time to recover. He also mentioned once my next cycle occurs, I'll feel better and that should be occurring Tuesday the 1st of Nov.

Day 7 - Friday. Stayed home as I was off and informed my employer that the doctor is requesting I stay home this weeks and up until Tuesday. My employer was not in favor of this and said maybe I could have Saturday off but not Sunday.

Pain level was decreasing a bit but still strong cramping feeling.

Embryo report: 6 appeared ready to be frozen , the others may be ready by next day.

Day 8- Saturday. I woke up with a strong pain throughout my body. I could barely walk and I could literally feel my "vagina" yelling at me. It simply hurt the worst. When they say your are healing for two weeks, you are HEALING for two weeks.

I was fortunate to have my mother come over this day and bring me some soup.

I rested the majority of the day. By rested: I slept, I drank water or Gatorade And tried to eat healthy. The #1 thing I've been doing is sleeping. My eyes are heavy and I feel even my face getting swollen.

Day 9- I was made to return to work prior to the doctors recommendations. I arrived and thought, "I can do this." I made my plan of actin and worked hard from 8:30-6:30 PM. This was a mistake. The office building has temperatures ranging from 80 -63 depending on what part you are in. I chose to stick near nurses station because it was the warmest. Every time I went to my office, my nose would drain and my eyes were tearing up. It was not a pretty site. I had other coworkers ask me what was wrong because my eyes were getting puffy and I became heavily congested. I already have a weakened immune system due to my kidney transplant six years ago. I did what I could at work but once the six o'clock hour hit I had to check priorities and I left at 6:30. 27 patients, one therapist one the unit. Stressful day.
I then went home to rest and basically pass out. I let my employer know I would be following doctors recommendations for now on and won't return till Tuesday or Wednesday.

Cyro report: 6 embryos were able to be frozen.

Day 10 - today is Monday and day 10. I did not go to work. My stomach feels okay but my face doesn't. I am showing symptoms of either allergies or just nasal congestion. :(

Friday, August 5, 2016

Update for thoughts

Blog

The kidney:
So, my last appt was in April 2016 and I was told to continue with the Omega & Sodium Bicarbonate which I didn't. I was also instructed to up my dose on the prograf, which I didn't. 
I don't get entirely why I am on the omega & sodium and I feel it's more of a dietary than anything else. So just don't want to take more pills than I need to. 
The prograf, the nephrologist upped my PM dose to 1 mg from 0.5 bc labs were abnormal. I am 5 years post transplant. About to be 6 and I am becoming stubborn. I know the importance of the meds. I know if I don't take them, I could lose the kidney. So why don't I take my medication as prescribed? Because it's not seeing the bad and being stubborn. I take it when I remember, but I'm not perfect. The fluconozole more than anything is what I do remember to take but the silly doc from infectious disease has issues scheduling a dang follow up. I need to start carrying my meds on me again. I've been slacking. 

The baby making situation:
I'm hurt and devastated. Life at this point doesn't seem fair. I feel like a shitty person. A shitty wife. The one thing I should be able to do I can't. And now we save to do IVF w a gestational surrogate. Very unfortunate. I'm just tired of the red tape and the questions. I am tired and want to be someone else. 

At the end of the day though, I have to still take my medicine and just be me. But who am I anymore. Can't work with dialysis patients anymore bc got too personal. But aren't I hypocritical when I'm not compliant with my medication either. I've been drinking way more than I should to numb out feelings and to not care. But like I tell "others" this numbing method doesn't work bc once your sober, it hits you hard. 
So what is one to do? No, I don't want therapy l bc usually get aggravated and these ppl don't know how to challenge me the way I need. I've tried and then get pissed off. 

Yes, I wanted to write a book. Yes, I wanted to help others. But of course, self-care comes first. If I can't do that how am I suppose to help others with ESRD, CKD or infertility. Becomes problematic over and over again. I've volunteered and worked with this population and it doesn't help. Well, kind of did because it made me more accountable. Which is usually hard. But surrounding yourself with that shit makes life a wee bit more in your face. 
Do I want a kid? Of course. Just tired of the way it has to happen. Is this just the way it has to be. Yup. Is that fair? Nope. But you know , I can't do anything about it. Just continue to play the game. 

Can doing too much affect my health? Maybe. Is this a question for the nephrologist. Maybe. And that appt is next week. So, one day, one thing at a time. 

Sara, what do you want? 

A good job that I can help others in some shape or form. 
A crazy yet satisfying life. Hahaha. By crazy: dancing, and no ragrats, lol. Rave galor and sweat till you just forget all the pain. Dancing is therapeutic. No drugs needed. 

As many have said in the past , to feel normal. But then one questions what is normal. Bc we all have different thought process' aboot what that means but ppl don't ever want to actually define it for themselves. 

So what is normal for myself? Haha. No clue. Hahahhaha. Just a thought again and again. 

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Cycle #3 Begins from scratch

We used both of our embryos which survived freezing last year, 2015. Now I have to go through the freezing process again. Lots of money, lots of shots , wee bit of stress. 
I have an appt today for my baseline to see if my eggs are indeed 27 or if they may be older due to my health issues. If they are for some reason older, we need to freeze ASAP. 
I don't know if I feel ready currently to do all this again. I get so frustrated knowing I'm broken. If I can't have my picture perfect family with my husband and kids , what's the point. Why not be alone and act a fool. Two extremes but it's how I feel. 
They have to do a huge panel along with an ultrasound. I'm late to work and that seems more of a stressor currently. 
I'll find out hopefully this week if we are doing the shots or not. 
Need to stop drinking. . . I've been doing it way more often than I use to. 

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Cycle #2: Embroyo transfer day

so we are trying this again. It's so stressful, emotionally. Cycle 1 did not stick. And the husband and I wanted to just get this done with. So baseline appt for our surro began late October. She arrived to Houston yesterday in which we picked her up.
This go around we are having her stay with us. Easier.
But yesterday we had an appt with the fertility clinic. Last week during an ultrasound the doctor saw liquid in lining. They took it out. This week, before traveling this liquid needed to be verified it wasn't there as it could interfere with transfer. Yesterday's appt was clear. Therefore today at 11 we have embryo transfer. We will be in art dance this time as last time we weren't invited in.
How do I feel? Oddly calm. I've been hurt. And keep getting hurt. So this is just an appt to me. I should be praying far more but I think I'm negative about the whole thing Already. Maybe I just shouldn't have kids. Maybe it's not my life plan.
I want a child. It's what you do next in your marriage. I want someone else to love dearly. To teach what I know.
I have to get dressed in 15 min. 45-50 min drive away and she has to be there early.
Ultimately it's in gods hands. If we are to have a child he will make it happen.

Prayers!!